Ahimsa...or so we try... [December 6, 2013]

Ahimsa.  What does it really mean?  Or what does it mean to you?  While it has been translated by many as “to do no harm”, or “to not injure”, I have been schooled in the concept of doing less harm.   Doing less harm requires just as much consciousness as doing no harm, so it’s not for a lack of consciousness that I prefer this definition. It is that I believe that it is truly impossible to do no harm, and that doing less harm requires more awareness than most human beings have been taught.  [I do acknowledge, however, that in the grand scheme of geologic time, the harm we cause may balance out or be irrelevant.]  Considering that my life exists in human rather than geologic time, I will continue to share with you some of my thoughts on ahimsa.

I am fond of the contemplating the word ‘injure’ in thinking about ahimsa.  We have all had an injury of some kind:  a cut or a burn, or maybe we broke an arm or leg or even a finger.  We have been tackled in football, but also in life.  We can feel those injuries in our bodies, sometimes even long after the injury has healed.  But what about in our non physical bodies?  What about injuries to our feelings, to our hearts, to our sense of self?  While it may be easy to accept ahimsa as “I haven’t broken anyone’s bones today”, it is much more difficult to walk the talk of “I am not going to hurt peoples feelings today”.  That would actually require us to be aware of others and the personal and emotional space that they occupy.   It might even require that we avoid people for the day, but it’s likely in that process of avoiding that we might be hurting someone.   So, how to we actually live life with the practice of ahimsa?  I don’t know.  I have been both on the giving and receiving end of some crap that has certainly not felt like ahimsa, even from or to people that I have nothing but love and respect for.  And in some of those instances, it seems we are making a judgment call…this is better for me, even though if I thought about it, I may be hurting another person with this decision or path or comment.  So, do we choose not to think about the consequences of our decision making?  Or at what point do we let it go?  When is it better to choose me before we? 

I don’t claim to know how to walk a perfect line, and I certainly know that I am not devoid of hurting others, but I wonder about the price we pay for our decision making.  What do we trade for our inflexibility?  For being unaware, even if in the moment? 

Recently, I have been hurt (injured) by people that I would never have expected to inflict the pain that they have on me.  Maybe I am more sensitive these days, and yes, that may be a factor.  But, it seems that maybe we get so caught up in ourselves that we may not even understand the consequences of our actions.  In that there may be a recognition of ahimsa...but for whom?  Maybe we make a trade, to toss anothers humanity aside to benefit our own or anothers...and to what end?  I guess that I will never know, because I do not walk in any shoes but my own, and I have rarely been given the benefit of an explanation of their actions.  Years ago, I would have gotten caught up in the stories and wanting to know why and how, but these days, my focus is on trying to understand how we move through the world and on our path without picking up too much baggage from what happens to us along the way.  So I sit with my reaction, my hurt, the feelings I have in those moments, and give them their rightful place, and then I try to let them go.    

A friend of mine recently shared with me that forgiveness is the key to wholeness when we are hurt.   As I think about it, I agree with her in regards to our healing.  But, I still feel that there is a better way to more through life, with less collateral damage.  How do we do that?  I don’t know.  We are such complex but simple beings.  When it boils down to the bare elements of it, we just want to love and be loved.  And maybe, just maybe, if we can be open, find it in our hearts to truly love and be whole ourselves, we can try to do that with a little bit more ahimsa.